Alternate History: 1865 through 2008 (Yes, I'm Bored)

This is a fun bit of alternate history writing I did in 5 minutes when a friend posed that age-old rhetorical question in an email, "What if Lincoln had not been killed?" Since it's my last week at my current job, and thus, I find myself with some extra time... I gave the following response. Remember, I am the Conservative Futurist... and apparently, somewhat nerdy.

Q: [Regarding the state of Secret service protection, or lack thereof in 1865] "Had someone put up a fight & said, 'Uhm, dude, half the country hates you, and there was an attempt on your life in Baltimore a while back, so you don't have a say in this anymore,' I wonder if things might have been different that nasty night in April 1865?"

A: [My silly response] Friend, I've been to that universe and it's not fun. Lincoln lived to the ripe age of 82, and in that time became a dedicated pacifist and ended up leading the "American Peace Party," which was swept into power in 1868 by landslide margins. Due to the losses of party members to the new APP, the democratic party withered away and was eventually replaced by the American Communist Party in 1912. The "Leninists" as they were first called, knocked the APP out of power in 1912. They formed a new alliance with Russia (which later became the Soviet Union), and entered into a contract with the Soviets in 1921 to buy military equipment (The US was pacifist and didn't have a military) after Germany took over western Europe in the "Great War." In 1938, a man named Hitler rose to power and invaded Moscow on a warm spring day the next year. Russia fell, and with it, support for the US military. Germany and Japan allied forces and invaded the American west coast on January 1, 1940. Washington was captured 3 months later. In 1951, The 4th Reich tested a nuclear weapon in the Nevada desert. In 1960, a young man named John Kennedy attempted to overthrow the German Prefecture in Boston. As a result, the German Pro-Consul for the American Germany was killed. In response, the new Fuhrer in Berlin, Heinrich Himmler (who acceded to the post after Hitler's death from syphilis), ordered a nuclear detonation in Boston. When Americans in Chicago and Miami rioted in protest, those cities were destroyed as well. This led to the "Great Plague of 1965" which killed millions of Americans living in the 4th Reich, and eventually spread across the world. Ironically, Himmler was killed by one of the American super-flus, which led to a power struggle. In the confusion, the German economy collapsed, leading to an attack from China and India. In the short war, Berlin was destroyed. The 4th Reich in America collapsed leaving most of North America in a 3rd world state. In 1988, a man named Ronald Reagan - the local leader of a west coast drama club - led a group of men to San Francisco where they established the Nation of Jefferson (formerly California, Oregon and Washington). There they established relations with the closed territory of Deseret (a geographic area run by Mormons in the Rocky Mountains), and begun the process of forming a new nation. In 1999, the Federated States of America was formed, with Ronald Reagan as Prime Minister. In 2008, the FSA was recovering from the war, and had a 50% illiteracy rate, and a 30% infant mortality rate. Things continued to improve with the election of Prime Minister Rice - the first black person and woman ever to be elected to high office in the Americas. She opened the borders to Indian and Chinese help in the form of advanced electronics and medical care. At last census, the FSA had a population of 92 million, and had the world's 76th largest economy.

Obamasms and the Cult of Personality

I've noticed something very peculiar when it comes to the embrace people are giving Barack Hussein Obama these days. Amid the drunken atmosphere of support that has his followers spilling the Kool-Aid all over themselves, there seems to be a sense of inevitability surrounding his candidacy that has put the blinders on most folks. His supporters have gone fanatical on us, disbelieving of the fact that anyone could possibly exist that might think the man is nothing more than an inexperienced opportunist with an agenda that will set this country down the path to ruin.

The love for Barack, of course, has been due to the overwhelmingly positive media the guy has been getting. It's as if they're afraid to point out anything negative in fear that it will offend blacks, Muslims and any white liberal with a guilt-complex. Of course, maybe the lack of criticism is due to the fact that he has virtually no experience... at least not enough to garner him any kind of reputation whatsoever... to say nothing about his ability to lead the most powerful nation on Earth.

So why do people support (and dare I say, love) him? I've asked many of his supporters that very question, and I've been very surprised at the answers (or lack thereof) that I've been given. The first response is usually, "He's for change!" Changing what, exactly? Isn't any candidate elected going to amount to some form of change? His followers can't answer that question, because they don't know what he plans to change (what a perfectly vague reason to lend support, isn't it?) - let alone his method of doing it. So, once confronted with this loop in logic, his supporters will usually shift into one of three gears: Their hatred of Bush; the War in Iraq; and Global Warming. All three are emotional issues, making it nearly impossible to say anything that might change their mind about the guy. This is called brainwashing. The inability to engage them in meaningful discussion on such topics will also reaffirm their support for a man they know almost nothing about. This is called the "Cult of Personality," and it is a very dangerous mindset to be a part of.

The problems with people who emotionally stand behind a leader without knowing why is that they will do almost anything to justify their support. Tell them Obama has no experience, and they'll start pointing out such intellectual gems like the fact that he was elected to the Senate... as if merely showing up for the job he was elected to do has anything to do with his ability to lead a nation (carefully avoiding the fact that he has done nothing to effect "change" in the whole 4 years he's been in the Senate). Or they'll proudly say, "It's about time we had a Black President!" As if that somehow automatically qualifies a person. They'll reach for answers, because Obama himself hasn't been clear enough in providing them. In fact, he has only spoken in the language of platitude. He's been telling people what they want to hear, promising them wild dreams (like ending poverty, hunger and strife, and creating endless jobs, free healthcare and access for everyone to education) without so much as being called to task on what his plans are for doing so (hint: he doesn't have any). And further, I offer this... if those things were even possible, don't you think they would have been done by now? Heck, the first world leader to accomplish even a percentage of that goal would probably be elected Ruler of the Planet.

But since the promises from Barack Hussein Obama seem to originate in a world of fairy tales, it makes sense that his followers live in that magical wonderland with him... a land that obfuscates reality just enough so that they can offer rabid support to a man with no substance, no leadership ability (other than the ability to woo a crowd) and certainly no plan to keep this nation safe from from the dangers that lurk in the real world.

Please people... it's about time you wake up and see that this particular emperor is wearing no clothes. But then, that would probably be a selling point with you, too.

Virginians: Romney is Still on the Ballot!

If you're still reeling from Romney's campaign withdrawal, can't stomach voting for McCain and would like to do your part to keep Huckabee from receiving another, single, delegate vote, cast your vote for Mitt! Consider it a pre-vote for the 2012 election! Besides, Romney could choose to come back into the race at any time (technically) - although granted, that's wishful thinking on my part. But hey, a lot can happen between now and the convention... Vote for Mitt! Virginia polls close at 7pm.

American Idol Karaoke Revolution

The ladies singing in front of Simon! Ah, the glorious XBox 360! I know it's a bad pic, but what do you expect from a cellphone... in the dark... at night...?

Well, It's Not Quite Star Trek...

...but I would pay the $200,000 (if I had it) in a heartbeat to go for a ride into space - if only for 4 1/2 minutes. I'm not a huge Richard Branson fan, but he's got the right idea when it comes to seeing tourism as a means to spur development in space travel. I figure, any guy who can actually put me a step closer to the childhood promise of living on the moon someday is alright in my book.

And while I'm all for private investment in spaceflight and believe that it will be the driving force in making things cheaper, I still believe that governments are the only entities capable of providing the amount of funding necessary for large, deep-space exploration missions that will ultimately be beneficial for all of us. Just think where we'd be without NASA... I mean, no Tang? That's not a world in which I'd want to live...

Man Arrested Near Capitol With Shotgun, Bow and Arrow, Samurai Sword!

And of course, I was right there. I took this picture after he was arrested. His car was a white Toyota 4Runner with Utah plates. It was being surrounded when I was there, and it appeared that the police had called for a tow truck, and not a bomb disposal unit. That was odd, considering that the cop I spoke to said the car had explosives inside (according to the barking dogs).

More on the breaking story HERE.

Go Ahead, THROW Your Vote Away! Choose McCain or Huckabee!

If you're a good republican, your first clue that you shouldn't vote for McCain or Huckabee should come from the mainstream media. They love those guys. The New York Times just looooves Huckabee, comparing his populist message to Reagan's. They also know that a Huckabee nomination would mean the end of the GOP. He's a weak candidate with a poor record and a penchant for crusading. And McCain? Why, he's a decorated war hero! What they don't mention is their knowledge of the fact that an old haggard like McCain has absolutely NO chance against a young Obama or Girl Power.

While I don't have any particular love for outspoken political columnist Ann Coulter, she sums the situation up very well with this statement (which, by the way, is pro-Romney, like me):

"I've been casually taking swipes at Mitt Romney for the past year based on the assumption that, in the end, Republicans would choose him as our nominee. My thinking was that Romney would be our nominee because he is manifestly the best candidate.

I had no idea that Republican voters in Iowa and New Hampshire planned to do absolutely zero research on the candidates and vote on the basis of random impulses.

Dear Republicans: Please do one-tenth as much research before casting a vote in a presidential election as you do before buying a new car.

One clue that Romney is our strongest candidate is the fact that Democrats keep viciously attacking him while expressing their deep respect for Mike Huckabee and John McCain."

I would suggest reading the FULL ARTICLE. But the point is that we should not be taking the advice of our sworn political enemies (NYTimes, MSNBC, Wolf Blitzer, etc.) when it comes to choosing a candidate. If the media is ever pleasant towards a Baptist Minister (Huckabee) or a pro-war Republican (McCain), you can be pretty sure there is a hidden agenda, because it never happens otherwise. In this case, the agenda is to give the weakest candidates the most press.

Why did Huckabee suddenly surge in Iowa? He would say it was his message, and that would be baloney. Huck's been on the same message for a year (more Jesus in government, legislation, etc.). So, it wasn't his message. He surged because of the fact that he got hundreds of hours of favorable media coverage for free, by CNN, MSNBC, ABC and CBS while the former front-runner in that state, Romney, had to pay millions for it. The media played the evangelical electorate in Iowa like an angel's harp, and they bought it like a televangelist healin'.

Romney is the the DNC's worst fear. He's intelligent, was popular in a liberal state, is conservative, articulate, a proven strong manager and leader, decent, and yes, good looking. He is the ONLY person who can beat Hillary or Obama in November. What about Giuliani? He's got a fair shot. But have you ever noticed that Giuliani's strongest moments come when he's discussing 9/11? On other subjects, he falls apart. His 9/11 leadership mystique will not carry him into the White House. Only someone who can hammer liberals can claim that prize. And that man, right now, is Mitt Romney.

If the press gives Romney half as much coverage they gave Huckabee (outside of the Mormon issue), you will see his numbers surge faster than the lines in Wal-Mart on the 1st of the month. He's good. Yes, that good.

Flat Stanley Visits the White House

See, we're not all about political diatribes, ranting and nerdspeak here at the Conservative Futurist! In fact, just yesterday my new friend, Flat Stanley, made a visit to the area. Being the playful guy that I am, I rewarded Mr. Stanley with a trip to the White House! You can see here how excited Flat was. I'm sure he'll have lots of stories when he returns home to his best friend Hope in Utah.

As you can see, Flat Stanley was having trouble standing still in the wind. So, my friend helped him stand up while I took the picture. He looks like he's having fun, doesn't he?

The Addiction Continues...

This time I beat Rock Band for the XBox 360.

In New Orleans. Again.

Things are still in bad shape down here. This is 5 miles from downtown.

Why Huckabee Has Ruined the Republican Party

Mike Huckabee is ruining the republican party. And what's worse, he's not even a real republican. Sure, he's a former preacher turned politician, and knows how to court those of faith (who typically tend to be republican). That's important, right - having faith? Normally, I'd tend to agree. But in Huckabee's case, he seems to be relying a little too much on the faith of his followers believing that he's a real conservative. Well, I have news for them - he's not. As The Wall Street Journal recently noted:

"But one wonders whether his newfound supporters would really say that if they took a close look at his policies. With increasing frequency, Mr. Huckabee invokes his faith when advocating greater government involvement in just about every aspect of American life. In doing so, Mr. Huckabee has actually answered the prayers of the religious left."

This is very concerning for the future of the republican party. A great portion of the religious right, a critical base element of the party is being duped just because this guy happens to speak their language.

While I agree with the religious right on many issues (close to 95%), I don't consider myself a part of that faction. Nor do I agree with the way they politicize their faith. As a Mormon, I have been unfairly treated by the other so-called Christians of this group who have ostracized members of my faith time and time again. It's funny that after complaining for so long that they have been marginalized by the left, been labeled kooks and wackos, this same group of religious right Christians is the quickest to do the same thing to Mormons - who are arguably one of the largest bodies of Christians who actually try to live like the the Savior did. But I digress. Needless to say, I have no love for the religious right.

Naturally, I am appalled at the level of blind support being given to Huckabee just because he "walks like a sheep and talks like lamb." One of my good friends who supports Huckabee was surprised to know that he supports a heavily expanded role of government. Again, I quote The Wall Street Journal:

As governor, he championed the ARKids First, which extended free health insurance not only to children of the working poor but to some lower middle-class families. He pleased teachers unions with his consistent opposition to school choice and voucher programs. He satisfied labor by signing into law a minimum-wage hike of 21%. "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me" -- Mr. Huckabee's oft-cited scriptural justification for growing government -- proved costly for Arkansans, who saw government spending double and their taxes rise about a half-billion dollars during his tenure.

This is blatant propagandizing. He knows exactly what to say to conservative republicans in a language they can understand and have a difficult time refuting (because of its religious context), and then turns around and governs like a liberal democrat. What gives, Mr. Huckabee?

Because of this duplicity, thousands of religious voters are voting for Huckabee just because "he's a good Christian." As a result, they are taking votes away from candidates who actually legislate like good Christians. Take Romney for example. Here is one of the most straight-forward conservative candidates in 20 years who actually has a chance. Yet, because he is Mormon, the religious right applies unfair pressure on him. They encourage people to "oppose the Mormon at all costs" (I got this quote from that same Born-again Christian friend). At what cost? The destruction of the only party that can counter the Godless nanny-state looming on the left?

And for those of the religious right who make abortion their clarion call for candidate support, and who would bash Romney for his past stance on leaving the states responsible for abortion legislation, Huckabee is no abortion saint either:

"In August, he told a group of Washington reporters that the application of his faith to politics must include concerns for the environment, poverty and hunger. "It can't just be about abortions and same-sex marriage," he said. "We can't ignore that there are kids every day in this country that literally don't have enough food and adequate drinking water in America."'

The votes that may have gone to Romney have now gone to Huckabee, causing both to lose in New Hampshire. We'll wind up with a left-centered republican nominee like Giuliani or McCain simply because the religious right was too blind to see that Huckabee wasn't even a true republican. And as a result, the GOP will likely lose in November. So, when Barack Hussein Obama or Hillary Rodham Clinton is being sowrn in this November, we have nobody by the religious right to thank.

Thanks guys.

My Christmas Break

This is what I've been doing with myself over the Christmas break!

Ever Had One of THESE Days?

I rode the Metro this morning for 15 minutes - standing, no less - before I noticed that one of the greatest fears I never knew I had was finally realized. Yes, the picture is accurate. And yes, I spent the remaining 15 minutes of my Metro ride trying to hide one of my feet - lest my carefully sculpted fashion sense become disrupted in the eyes of others.

Folks, today I have (literally) stumbled upon a new low. I mean, I've left the house once or twice wearing mismatched socks (seriously, no more than twice in my life), but never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I would EVER mismatch my SHOES!

Seriously, aside from those who may be mentally challenged, who walks out of the house wearing a different shoe on each foot?! Apparently, I do. And I'm thinking it may be time for me to get a MRI scan of my noggin, because something is definitely not right upstairs.

"How did this happen?" It's what I've been asking myself all morning. Well, I have an idea. My wife decided to have one of her friends organize our house this weekend (she has a business called Dutch Girl Organizing). She did an awesome job, I must say, and I hardly recognize our bedroom... However, somewhere in the process, the carefully managed chaos that is our shoe closet had suddenly become, well, organized! Well, in the beautification process, someone.... (I'm not naming names but she's hot and is my wife) paired up the wrong black shoes. So this morning in my haste, I grabbed 'em both, put 'em on and walked out.

Ultimately, I have no one to blame but myself... I mean, who doesn't pay attention to what goes on their feet? I did have to tie the stupid things... you'd think I would have figured it out then. Or, if not at home, then at least when I walked outside and noticed that one shoe clacked when I walked (hard bottom) and the other was silent (rubber sole). But no, I was too immersed in my mp3s... Ugh.

So if you notice an otherwise professional looking guy on the Metro today after work who just happens to look like he walked out of a homeless shelter from the ankles down... please, go easy on him!

RAZR2 is a Horrible Waste of a Phone

I really wanted to love the Motorola RAZR2 (V9), I really did. I even went out and bought one with the hope that I could overcome some of the bad reviews I had been reading. "It can't be that bad," I told myself. Well, I was wrong. I just got back form the store where I bought it and asked for a full refund. I've never been more disappointed in a phone. But before I really begin ripping into it, let me share with you the good things first.

It's a beautiful phone. There is no denying that. When you hold it in your hand, it feels solid and elegant. It's a sexy device. Unfortunately, that's all it is.

First, the software absolutely sucks. I've had Motorola's off and on for 7 years, and in that time there has been no significant improvement in their software. People have complained about how slow it has been in the past, so Motorola addressed this by putting in a super-fast processor in the phone - 500mhz (roughly equivalent to an old Pentium II). But in the shortsighted tradition in which Motorola excels, they didn't provide the phone with a battery to meet the new chip's power consumption. The result? I was charging my phone twice a day. It would literally die after 4 hours of off-and-on texting (My Samsung SYNC can go for days). I swapped the phone thinking it may have been defective (because I have never seen a battery go so quickly), but the exchanged phone did the same thing. This was my biggest complaint. There is no way I would feel comfortable taking that phone on a trip for more than a few hours without a charger. No way.

The other problems are idiotic oversights by Motorola that add up to make this phone a bear to use. For one, the phone has a beautiful, huge outer LCD screen that is as clear as the internal screen. The reviews said you could check your texts from there and do all kinds of things without even opening your phone! Well, maybe. AT&T's version only lets you play music from the outer screen. So when you get a text, you get a giant message saying "Message Received," but you have to open the phone and retrieve it to read it.

Another thing is that the center button doesn't select things that common sense says should be a no-brainer. For example, when you open to the phone to read a text - the center button doesn't open the message. You have to click one of the soft buttons to "read" it. That's just lame. There are little annoyances like that throughout the software that drive you crazy.

AS for the keypad. It's total garbage. It's not the solid etched metal of the first generation RAZR. It's etched plastic, and you'll be hard pressed (pardon the pun) to consistently send texts without fat-fingering the 7 and 9 keys. I can't believe that for this price, Motorola couldn't put something solid in there like they did in 2004. The keypad on this thing is abysmal.

The bottom line is that this phone is not worth anything close to the $300 AT&T is charging for new contract customers. And anyone who pays the standard $500 price for it is an idiot. There are SO many phones that deliver much, much more for less money and less of a headache. Granted, this phone looks stunning... but anyone who thinks it is anything more than that is kidding themselves.

Don't buy it!

The Tree is Lit!

I can't believe it has been a year. It seems like just yesterday that I was cleaning sap off my hands and arms, putting up our family Christmas Tree! We had the same arguments... Her, "Honey, you're putting up the lights wrong!" And me, "Well, you're hanging the ornaments too far on the end of the branches!" Ah yes, Yule Tide Cheer!

Anyway, here is a picture of the fruits of our labor. We made it though the ordeal, stronger for the wear... and one step closer to taking the plunge and buying a fake tree (although I still swear it will never happen as long as I continue to draw breath!).

Merry Christmas.

Pictures from London & Paris

We made it back from our week-long Thanksgiving trip to Europe. I won't give a full travelogue of the journey since my wife did a good job of doing that on her blog. But I will post a few pictures and give you all a brief overview.

The weather was fantastic - relatively speaking. We had no rain during the day, and it was only overcast in the morning. The temperature was cold, but that just made walking around the city easier. We spent the first 2 days in London exploring the city, then rented a car for the next 2 days to explore the countryside. The 5th day was spent in Paris. We got up early that day and rode the Eurostar (in first class, mind you) high-speed train (200mph) from London to Paris in 2 hours. We came back to London late that night. The last day was spent in London before heading home to the States.

Overall, I'd say it was a perfect trip! Even my first experience driving a right-sided car on the left side of the road went well. Of course, it helped that Hertz upgraded us from a Toyota Prius (hey, gas is $12 a gallon there) to a diesel Volvo S80. We drove in style. I only ran over one curb, and it was only an inch high! But man, driving on the other side of the road is truly an experience. It is not for the faint of heart - especially when you're learning in central London traffic! Thankfully, none of us died.

This was my first trip to the UK since living there as a kid in 1984, so it was a really special (I hate using that word, but it was) experience for me. It was also my first time in Europe since 1998 when I visited Denmark and Sweden with my Dad and sister.

If you have questions about any of the pictures... just post them below. Enjoy!

On Our Way to London

On the 777. Wish it could be first class this time.

Dumb, Stupid, Moronic Drivers!

Considering I used to be the champion of berating idiotic drivers, I'm surprised that this is the first time I've decided to post something about the subject in my 3 years of writing this blog. But this article set me off today. According to the research, an estimated 36 million drivers would fail a driving test.

I can't say I'm surprised... DC and Virginia are in the bottom percentile. I've been saying that for years. The idiocy here is unmatched anywhere in the world. And, I'm not talking about crazy drivers... I'm talking about the moronic ones (and no, they are not one in the same). Let me explain:

To call someone a "crazy" driver is purely subjective. One person who may be too timid to drive above 55mph might consider someone who drives 65mph a crazy driver. By the same token, someone who feels comfortable taking a corner at higher speeds may be considered crazy by a mom in her minivan who is taking the curve more slowly. Such a driver is not necessarily an idiot (although, there are idiots who drive too fast for conditions, and that's a different issue), he is merely comfortable driving at a faster pace. Such drivers actually tend to be more alert on the road, as they are constantly looking out for slower cars, police radar traps and the like.

An "idiotic" or "dumb" driver, on the other hand, is completely oblivious to his surroundings. You'll usually find these people occupying the fast lane when they are not passing other cars (the law states that the left lane is for passing only); failing to turn left at intersections where the light turns red while they are next in line to turn; driving with their brake lights on; blocking intersections; driving too slow for conditions (when everyone around them is going faster); or my favorite - people don't know how to merge into traffic without stopping. You get the picture.

So in the article, it points out how people don't know that you're supposed to stop when the light turns yellow (if it's safe), when to properly signal, etc., and it suggests some kind of national driving standard. Let me just say that I'm all for this idea - as long as it doesn't supersede the rights of the states to make their own driving laws and requirements. But clearly, there is a need for a minimum level of uniformity.

In the meantime, I've always been an advocate for increased driver education and more stringent requirements on drivers' tests. And of course, part of that includes a mandatory basic understanding of the English language!

Tired of Being Sick

Yes, another blog post about being sick. I know... I can't believe it either. It's the 3rd time I've been sick since July - and each cold has been special in its own little way. This particular cold started off pretty mild. I had some sniffles and an itchy nose last Wednesday. By Thursday, I knew I was definitely sick and elected to stay home from work. From my last 3 bouts, I've really come to believe in getting proper rest when sick.

When Friday came, I stayed home from work again. By this time my throat was feeling a little sore. Later that night, my throat was dry, and really itchy. Saturday I felt fine, and thought I was getting better until Sunday arrived. That's when I got hit by the monster truck - a really dry, hoarse cough developed that was really painful in my chest, along with a pretty bad sore throat and all of the accompanying aches and pains of being sick. By Sunday night, my voice was completely gone. Monday I felt sick again, voice still gone... and another day of missed work.

On Tuesday I finally mustered up the strength to go back to work. My voice sounded like a 12 year old boy hitting puberty, but was understandable. Now I sit here, Thursday night, voice almost 100% back and feeling pretty good - except for this darn cough. My throat is pretty raw from all of the coughing, but it's going away. Oddly, other than the first day, this cold never affected my upper respiratory tract. That means that my ears were unaffected, and thus, unplugged, the entire time. Those of you familiar with my blog should know how happy that makes me. Although, I'm still a little paranoid they will plug up (as they sometimes do days after a cold) right in time for my flight to London next week. If that happens, expect more ranting.

I know this stuff probably doesn't interest you. After all, many of you come here for my political ranting and technology reviewing (mixed with the occasional personal posts and pictures). To you, let me say that this particular post is mainly for me. Since for whatever reason I seem to be getting sick more often, it's nice to go back over my posts and know exactly when my last suffering took place. Also, I get a lot of hits on this page from people looking for ways to get over their own plugged up ears. To you, I say visit my old posts here.

By the way, I'm pretty sure I had this. I'm serious.

Thanks for reading my rant! Let's hope I'm perfectly well for my vacation next week!

Dear Hollywood Writers: Get Over Yourselves

Dear Writers Guild of America:

Enough already. Throw in the towel. Know when to quit. Get back to work. And please understand, I don't say this because I hate unions (I do), or because I think you're not getting your fair share (you probably aren't), I'm simply saying "get over yourselves" because this particular strike isn't benefiting anyone - least of all, you.

I know you have every right to seek more money for what you earn. That's a principle as old as this country. But keep in mind, the producers are also in it to earn a buck. What you fight for is also a deduction from their bottom line, so don't expect to claim the side of moral superiority. You all want money. Big deal. Who doesn't? But know that there is a time to fight for largess, and a time to suck it up and be thankful you have a job at all. Now is a time to reflect on the latter.

It's not like television has a steady stream of classics keeping it alive right now. Viewership is at an all time low. Advertisers are abandoning the networks in droves in favor of Internet-based media. The decades-old reign of the boob tube is coming to a close, and if you don't recognize that, you're not worth the paper you're writing on (which, in green Hollywood, is saying a lot).

Yes, I love shows like The Office and Journeyman. But you know, once they go off the air due to a lack of written material, I'm likely to find other things on which to spend my time. My DVR is already loaded with shows I'd like to watch... maybe I'll find something new. After all, I don't need your product. In fact, a reasonable argument can be made that the world would actually benefit from less television watching. In fact, I'm sure that argument has been made. My mom argued to that effect many times during my childhood as I religiously watched Knight Rider and Star Trek. But I digress.

The bottom line is that viewer loyalty to any particular program only goes so far these days. And as I mentioned, there is quality programming out there... but it is dwarfed by the tons of crap that is being written, by you, on a daily basis. So, the level of empathy I feel for your cause is somewhere around the level I might feel towards a striking tobacco salesman whining that his numbers are down. Get over yourself, I'd say. People know crap when they see it.

And as for the Hollywood actors that are paying your bills in support and sending pizza to your picket lines... they can get over themselves, too. Does anyone take their hypocrisy seriously anymore? Oh, and to the bloggers going on a sympathy strike: You're just opportunistic and pandering idiots.

Sincerely,

A concerned viewer (The Conservative Futurist)