Pilot Locks Himself Out of Cockpit

Air Canada pilot goes to the bathroom, only to come back to a locked cockpit door. Is it just me, or is anyone else rapidly losing faith in the airline industry?

In addition to this fiasco, there's the sad, recent case of the air traffic controller working alone and on 2 hours of sleep, which tragically (and unknowingly) conspired with experienced pilots taking off down the wrong (and unlit) runway - resulting in America's first fatal commercial aviation accident since 2001.

But back to the peeing pilot. I'm just curious to know who cleaned up the subsequent "accidents" left by all of the passengers after seeing their pilot beating on the cockpit door with 30 minutes to go until landing.

Good grief. Canadians.

The Katie Couric 2 Minute Weight Loss Plan!

Send me your pictures, $50, and you too can lose 20+ lbs in a matter of seconds! See the results for yourself!

In all seriousness, it's sad that CBS feels they need to "skinny up" Couric to make her presentable. If they're so ashamed of their newest anchor, then why hire her to begin with? I mean, I can't stand the woman... but it has nothing to do with her weight.

To read about the photographic fakery taking place at CBS, click HERE.

To read about more important things, like where we're headed with Iran, click HERE.

Oh, and BOYCOTT QUIZNOS.

The Liar

I KNEW IT.

A Nice 300mph Ocean Breeze

Enjoy this clip of an Air France 747 blowing people down the sandy beach. Funny.

Pluto Has Been DEMOTED!

I feel like Charlton Heston at the end of Planet of the Apes when he discovered the truth. I feel like screaming what he screamed. This is terrible.

I am traumatized, seriously. Our solar system now only contains 8 official planets. Textbooks will have to be re-written (not to mention my brain). I've been a space nerd ever since I was a kid, and I always feared this day would come. Now, a bunch of eggheads have taken Pluto away from me.

CNN REPOERTS:

PRAGUE, Czech Republic (AP) -- Leading astronomers declared Thursday that Pluto is no longer a planet under historic new guidelines that downsize the solar system from nine planets to eight.

After a tumultuous week of clashing over the essence of the cosmos, the International Astronomical Union stripped Pluto of the planetary status it has held since its discovery in 1930. The new definition of what is -- and isn't -- a planet fills a centuries-old black hole for scientists who have labored since Copernicus without one.

Although astronomers applauded after the vote, Jocelyn Bell Burnell -- a specialist in neutron stars from Northern Ireland who oversaw the proceedings -- urged those who might be "quite disappointed" to look on the bright side.

The Trouble with Madmen

I've spoken about this guy in great length in my other blog. However, he deserves some mention here as well. The President of Iran, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, is a complete lunatic. Correction, he's not crazy, just mad with zeal.

As this article reports, Ahmadinejad should be giving all of us nightmares.

[...]

As one Iranian exile told me yesterday: 'The trouble with you secular people is that you don't realise how firmly Ahmadinejad believes - literally - in things like the winged horse. By choosing this date for his decision, he is telling his followers that he is going to obey his religious duty.

'And he believes that his religious duty is to create chaos and bloodshed in the "infidel" world, in order to hasten the return of the Mahdi - the Hidden Imam. So don't expect him to behave, in your eyes, "reasonably".'

The Blackberry Addiction

This is great. There's now a documented condition that explains my problem, and I'm not ashamed to admit it. I mean, isn't admitting to the problem the first step in recovery? What's next, workers compensation? Lawsuits? Movies starring Ice-T?

The sad thing is, I've only had my Blackberry for 2 months.

BBC reports:

Blackberry email devices can be so addictive that owners may need to be weaned off them with treatment similar to that given to drug users, experts warned today.

They said the palmtop gadgets, which have been nicknamed 'crackberries' because users quickly become hooked on them, could be seriously damaging to mental health.

John Karr and JonBenet... WHO CARES?!!

You know, I was sick of hearing about the JonBenet case back in 1996 and I'm even more sick of hearing about it now in 2006.

First of all, people are killed every day. Why this one case has America mesmerized is beyond my comprehension. It's the sick, tabloid nature of people nowadays that turns this type of news into something appealing.

Second, the untold crime was really committed by the Ramsey parents who turned their daughter into some kind of prepubescent, beauty-pageant sex idol (have you seen the pictures???). No wonder the unstable among the population gravitate towards these kids - they are confused between the lines of what makes an adult and what defines a child. Shameful.

Finally, I could CARE LESS about the whereabouts of John Karr. The world is literally on the brink of WWIII, and all the news channels break into programming when Karr's flight lands at LAX. GIVE ME A BREAK!!!

Is this what we've come to, America? We don't care about politics. We don't care about issues that really matter. We don't care that an Islamic terrorist-President is about to announce something to the world that may trigger WWIII. None of this matters. We only care that we don't pollute the Earth in our overpriced, "makes me feel better about myself" Toyota Priuses while we sit behind our oversized TVs eating low-carb ice cream watching a self-professing child pervert eat caviar on a plane while defending Michael Jackson.

Maybe this world deserves to end.

What Could Have Been...

Today, August 16, was the day terrorists were plotting to destroy 10 planes enroute from the UK to the US (more information HERE). Luckily, through solid effort on behalf of the US, British and Pakistani governments, the plot (which would have rivaled 9/11 in terms of casualties) was foiled. Can you iamgine how different our lives would have been from this point forward had the terrorists succeeded?

It's humbling to consider what an alternate reality would have looked like if we had been interrupted mid-day with the news that thousands of people had been blown up, simultaneously, over various parts of the Atlantic Ocean and US mainland. Instead of reading about THIS flight, which was safely diverted today due to an unruly passenger, we could have been reading about that very same flight in terms of losses of life, position of the aircraft at time of explosion and who in the world did it. Not to mention the other 9 planes that would have suffered a similar fate.

So, allow me to express some thanks to our President, Department of Homeland Security and intelligence network for helping the British stop this plot before it happened. This is precisely the reason why fighting terror is hard. It's hard to give credit where it is due, and easier to point fingers once the damage has been done. I'd say, the programs we have in place (so far) are working. Let's not screw things up by putting people into office who would take away the very tools that have effectively kept this country safe for the past 5 years.

Picnic at the Teddy Roosevelt Monument

In 9 years of living in DC, I had never been to this memorial until today! We had a bucket of chicken with friends, and got attacked by mosquitos!

The Released AOL Search Results

AOL released very private data about its users without their permission. While the AOL username has been changed to a random ID number, the ability to analyze all searches by a single user will often lead people to easily determine who the user is, and what they are up to. The data includes personal names, addresses, social security numbers and everything else someone might type into a search box.

The most serious problem is the fact that many people often search on their own name, or those of their friends and family, to see what information is available about them on the net. Combine these ego searches with porn queries and you have a serious embarrassment. Combine them with “buy ecstasy” and you have evidence of a crime. Combine it with an address, social security number, etc., and you have an identity theft waiting to happen. The possibilities are endless. Those of you who use AOL should be aware of potential identity theft issues.

For a somewhat funny, yet disturbing example of what can be found - I suggest clicking on this link (1 minute slideshow). http://aolconfessions.ytmnd.com (warning: contains moderately explicit text in the form of user's web queries, but nothing verbal).

For more information on the breach, click HERE (it's the page from where I copied the first 2 paragraphs).

Talladega Nights: Funny, but not THAT funny.

Yes, Talladega nights was funny. Yes, there were times when I laughed very hard. Unfortunately, the funniest parts of the movie were all in the previews. Additionally, there were scenes in the previews that were not in the movie. Truth be told, I laughed the most during the previews, when I learned that BORAT will be starring in a new movie. For that, I can't wait.

I did have some fun at the movie, though. See!

Feeling Big and Important?

I've decided to share with you a fun, rare and accurate email forward I received today. This is cool, so try to keep up.

Below is a picture of Earth looking right at home next to her sister planets of Venus (almost the same size), Mars, Mercury and Pluto.

Now, when you add the other planets (below) in our solar system to the picture - Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus and Neptune - Earth starts to look a little more insignificant.

But look at these giants (below) compared to the Sun, a star formally called Sol. More importantly, look at the size of Earth when compared to the sun. Everything human's have ever accomplished took place right there on that little speck. But it gets worse.

Even our star, Sol, pales in comparison to some of the other stars in our local galactic neighborhood. Check out Sirius, Pollux and Arcturus. Our sun is looking pretty small. But you ain't seen nothing yet!

Look at those giant stars compared to some of the biggest in our galaxy: Betelgeuse, Antares! These are the red giants - stars so big that our sun would be the size of a single pixel on your computer screen when compared to these models.

So, I ask you, are you still feeling big and important now??

Great Falls, VA

My escape.

Insert Lame TGIF Heading Here

So it's a balmy 90 degrees today, it's Friday, and I am all ready to go home at the early hour of 1pm. It's hazy outside, so I'm not missing much poolside. In fact, there really isn't much to do today at all. So, that will just about sum up today's blog.

But look at this picture I found on Google. I think I sat next to her once on the Metro. Crazy.

Another Day of HELL on EARTH

I'm not talking about the roach parts. I'm not even describing what it would be like if Hillary Clinton was President (that would be far worse). No, again, I'm talking about the crazy, hot, sweltering weather we've been having here in DC (see two days ago).

At 9:45am, it's already 93 degrees with 50% humidity. The heat index is over 100. And we still have many hours to go until it peaks...

And now, an update!

Roach Parts

OK, so, I just sent the following email my office building superintendent:

Mr. Super,

I've been using the gym downstairs every day for the past 3 weeks, and I don't think the shower has been cleaned in that entire time.

There are dead bugs on the walls and roach parts on the ground that have been there for at least 2 weeks. I know because I killed the roach, and watched every day as it gradually lost cohesion, finally ending up being roach “parts” rather than a roach.

Anything you can do will be appreciated by me and my colleagues.

Thanks!

I ask you, readers, is this the kind of question I should ever have to ask??? I mean, cleaning a public shower (I thought) was pretty standard at places that go through the trouble of having one. Or, instead, should I be asking myself why I even stepped foot into the shower in the first place when I am deathly afraid of roaches and generally grossed out by germs? To that, I say that I am serious about my daily workout (and not paying gym fees to somewhere probably less sanitary - like Bally's).

Now, I eagerly wait to see if the gym gets cleaned, or if I'm going to have to file suit when I catch MRSA from that cesspool.

HELL ON EARTH

No, I'm not talking about Communist Cuba. I'm talking about the 95 degree, 60% humidity, heat index of 110 weather we're having here in the nation's capital! Man, it's nasty outside.

I'm telling you, I've been to Arizona on 115 degree days and it does NOT compare to 95 degrees and 60% humidity.

And on top of this, I just got the following email via DC's Emergency Alert System:

The Washington Metropolitan Council of Governments has issued a code red air quality alert for tomorrow. This forecast means air quality is expected to be unhealthy for all individuals. Children, the elderly and individuals with heart or respiratory ailments, emphysema, asthma or chronic bronchitis should reduce outdoor activities. Healthy individuals should limit strenuous outdoor work or exercise and outdoor activities. Approximately 60-70 percent of the pollutants that cause ground-level ozone are created from vehicles, lawn mowers, other garden equipment and common household products. In order to prevent high levels of ozone from forming:

• Limit driving and when possible, combine trips or telework.
• Use area bus and rail lines or carpool. Many area transit systems, including Fairfax Connector, offer free rides on code red days.
• Avoid mowing lawns with gasoline-powered motors.
• Refuel vehicles after dusk. Avoid idling.
• Use environmentally friendly products.
• Conserve electricity, keep air conditioning no lower than 78 degrees.

What's next?

UPDATE: I can answer my own question. THIS is next. Now I get to wait in overheated underground Metro stations, for cars that will be running warmer, slower and more infrequently than usual. And this is supposed to "ensure its more than one million daily customers and several thousand employees are prepared for the heat" according to Metro. I think if anything, it will generate even more heat.

UGH. I wanna go home now.