Passive Aggressiveness is Contagious

I've decided that I'm tired of getting out of office replies from people I don't care about. So, as a bird to the world, I'm going with the following "In the Office" standard reply on all of my emails:

"Hi, thanks for emailing me. This response confirms that yes, I got your email. You should know, however, that the length of time it takes me to reply is directly proportional to the importance I place on your message, and thus, you. So, if I don't get back to you right away, it's probably because I hate you."

I might even change my signature to: "You deserve the taser" because let's face it, you probably do.