Thursday, April 26, 2007

Top 10 Weightless Activities for Stephen Hawking

My favorite scientist will be rollin' weightless today. As a celebration of the event, I bring you these pearls.

Top 10 Weightless Activities for Professor Hawking

10. Try to get better reception on that old AM radio he's never been able to fix.

9. Get a bird's eye view of the girls dormitory at Cambridge.

8. Call all of his old high school friends and call them gravity bound monkeys.

7. Work out of the theory of black hole radiation right after working out how to go to the bathroom in zero-G.

6. Accidentally bump into the backside of his nurse and blame it on the laws of motion.

5. Prove once and for all that the law of gravity is for suckers.

4. Fool the world by announcing he can stand, then yelling "psyche!" as the gravity kicks back in.

3. Finally get a chance to show off those Superman "underoos" he's been wearing all year.

2. Plug his voice-synthesizer into the plane's com system and announce, "I am Borg. Resistance is Futile," then throw up.

1. Relieve his weightless bowels over the houses of competing scientists.

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