Friday, February 22, 2008

Alternate History: 1865 through 2008 (Yes, I'm Bored)

This is a fun bit of alternate history writing I did in 5 minutes when a friend posed that age-old rhetorical question in an email, "What if Lincoln had not been killed?" Since it's my last week at my current job, and thus, I find myself with some extra time... I gave the following response. Remember, I am the Conservative Futurist... and apparently, somewhat nerdy.

Q: [Regarding the state of Secret service protection, or lack thereof in 1865] "Had someone put up a fight & said, 'Uhm, dude, half the country hates you, and there was an attempt on your life in Baltimore a while back, so you don't have a say in this anymore,' I wonder if things might have been different that nasty night in April 1865?"

A: [My silly response] Friend, I've been to that universe and it's not fun. Lincoln lived to the ripe age of 82, and in that time became a dedicated pacifist and ended up leading the "American Peace Party," which was swept into power in 1868 by landslide margins. Due to the losses of party members to the new APP, the democratic party withered away and was eventually replaced by the American Communist Party in 1912. The "Leninists" as they were first called, knocked the APP out of power in 1912. They formed a new alliance with Russia (which later became the Soviet Union), and entered into a contract with the Soviets in 1921 to buy military equipment (The US was pacifist and didn't have a military) after Germany took over western Europe in the "Great War." In 1938, a man named Hitler rose to power and invaded Moscow on a warm spring day the next year. Russia fell, and with it, support for the US military. Germany and Japan allied forces and invaded the American west coast on January 1, 1940. Washington was captured 3 months later. In 1951, The 4th Reich tested a nuclear weapon in the Nevada desert. In 1960, a young man named John Kennedy attempted to overthrow the German Prefecture in Boston. As a result, the German Pro-Consul for the American Germany was killed. In response, the new Fuhrer in Berlin, Heinrich Himmler (who acceded to the post after Hitler's death from syphilis), ordered a nuclear detonation in Boston. When Americans in Chicago and Miami rioted in protest, those cities were destroyed as well. This led to the "Great Plague of 1965" which killed millions of Americans living in the 4th Reich, and eventually spread across the world. Ironically, Himmler was killed by one of the American super-flus, which led to a power struggle. In the confusion, the German economy collapsed, leading to an attack from China and India. In the short war, Berlin was destroyed. The 4th Reich in America collapsed leaving most of North America in a 3rd world state. In 1988, a man named Ronald Reagan - the local leader of a west coast drama club - led a group of men to San Francisco where they established the Nation of Jefferson (formerly California, Oregon and Washington). There they established relations with the closed territory of Deseret (a geographic area run by Mormons in the Rocky Mountains), and begun the process of forming a new nation. In 1999, the Federated States of America was formed, with Ronald Reagan as Prime Minister. In 2008, the FSA was recovering from the war, and had a 50% illiteracy rate, and a 30% infant mortality rate. Things continued to improve with the election of Prime Minister Rice - the first black person and woman ever to be elected to high office in the Americas. She opened the borders to Indian and Chinese help in the form of advanced electronics and medical care. At last census, the FSA had a population of 92 million, and had the world's 76th largest economy.

Thursday, February 14, 2008

Obamasms and the Cult of Personality

I've noticed something very peculiar when it comes to the embrace people are giving Barack Hussein Obama these days. Amid the drunken atmosphere of support that has his followers spilling the Kool-Aid all over themselves, there seems to be a sense of inevitability surrounding his candidacy that has put the blinders on most folks. His supporters have gone fanatical on us, disbelieving of the fact that anyone could possibly exist that might think the man is nothing more than an inexperienced opportunist with an agenda that will set this country down the path to ruin.

The love for Barack, of course, has been due to the overwhelmingly positive media the guy has been getting. It's as if they're afraid to point out anything negative in fear that it will offend blacks, Muslims and any white liberal with a guilt-complex. Of course, maybe the lack of criticism is due to the fact that he has virtually no experience... at least not enough to garner him any kind of reputation whatsoever... to say nothing about his ability to lead the most powerful nation on Earth.

So why do people support (and dare I say, love) him? I've asked many of his supporters that very question, and I've been very surprised at the answers (or lack thereof) that I've been given. The first response is usually, "He's for change!" Changing what, exactly? Isn't any candidate elected going to amount to some form of change? His followers can't answer that question, because they don't know what he plans to change (what a perfectly vague reason to lend support, isn't it?) - let alone his method of doing it. So, once confronted with this loop in logic, his supporters will usually shift into one of three gears: Their hatred of Bush; the War in Iraq; and Global Warming. All three are emotional issues, making it nearly impossible to say anything that might change their mind about the guy. This is called brainwashing. The inability to engage them in meaningful discussion on such topics will also reaffirm their support for a man they know almost nothing about. This is called the "Cult of Personality," and it is a very dangerous mindset to be a part of.

The problems with people who emotionally stand behind a leader without knowing why is that they will do almost anything to justify their support. Tell them Obama has no experience, and they'll start pointing out such intellectual gems like the fact that he was elected to the Senate... as if merely showing up for the job he was elected to do has anything to do with his ability to lead a nation (carefully avoiding the fact that he has done nothing to effect "change" in the whole 4 years he's been in the Senate). Or they'll proudly say, "It's about time we had a Black President!" As if that somehow automatically qualifies a person. They'll reach for answers, because Obama himself hasn't been clear enough in providing them. In fact, he has only spoken in the language of platitude. He's been telling people what they want to hear, promising them wild dreams (like ending poverty, hunger and strife, and creating endless jobs, free healthcare and access for everyone to education) without so much as being called to task on what his plans are for doing so (hint: he doesn't have any). And further, I offer this... if those things were even possible, don't you think they would have been done by now? Heck, the first world leader to accomplish even a percentage of that goal would probably be elected Ruler of the Planet.

But since the promises from Barack Hussein Obama seem to originate in a world of fairy tales, it makes sense that his followers live in that magical wonderland with him... a land that obfuscates reality just enough so that they can offer rabid support to a man with no substance, no leadership ability (other than the ability to woo a crowd) and certainly no plan to keep this nation safe from from the dangers that lurk in the real world.

Please people... it's about time you wake up and see that this particular emperor is wearing no clothes. But then, that would probably be a selling point with you, too.

Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Virginians: Romney is Still on the Ballot!

If you're still reeling from Romney's campaign withdrawal, can't stomach voting for McCain and would like to do your part to keep Huckabee from receiving another, single, delegate vote, cast your vote for Mitt! Consider it a pre-vote for the 2012 election! Besides, Romney could choose to come back into the race at any time (technically) - although granted, that's wishful thinking on my part. But hey, a lot can happen between now and the convention... Vote for Mitt! Virginia polls close at 7pm.

Friday, February 08, 2008

American Idol Karaoke Revolution

The ladies singing in front of Simon! Ah, the glorious XBox 360! I know it's a bad pic, but what do you expect from a cellphone... in the dark... at night...?