It's 102 Degrees, So It Must Be...

...Global Warming! Yep, that's right. If man weren't on the Earth, today's summer temperature would be 75 degrees and perfect. Oh, wait... when it's cooler in the summer, that actually means that the Earth is getting warmer, too. So, I'm confused. Is it global warming when it's too hot, or too cold? That's right - it's both! In other words, the Earth would never change temperatures at all if man wasn't here! What a perfectly circular argument! You can't lose if you believe all of the global warming hype. It's the perfect wagon on which you can hitch your political career, because it also has the added bonus of being based on fear!

So, we have a scary theory that means the world is ending unless we enact all kinds of crazy laws that limit personal freedom, it's based on fear, and no matter what: anything horrible that happens in the world can be attributed to it! Just like the Rock, it can never lose!

Jeesh... the madness! Can't it just be freakin' hot anymore?