Sunday, December 31, 2006

Flux Capacitor... Fluxing.

We're about to make the leap forward into the year 2007, and so far, all is well. Since I have been busy doing nothing for the past week (yes, it was everything I thought it could be), I thought I should at least wish everyone who visits here a very happy and prosperous new year! See you on the other side!!!

Tuesday, December 26, 2006

Monday, December 25, 2006

Merry Christmas from Us!

What a fun Christmas so far! My beautiful bride and I got ourselves a Roomba (coolest thing ever), clothes, paintings, games, books and other stuff! Most of them were surprises to each other - some were not. My wonderful wife made a Christmas feast of tortilla soup (her blend is famous), candy and Martinellis. After we gorged ourselves, we went and saw The Holiday (chick flick, I know, but pretty good).

Now we're relaxing with good music, phone calls to family across the country and getting ready for gorging, part deux. It's raining outside, so not quite a white Christmas.... although, who would expect one after the weeks of 65 and 75 degree temperature we've been having?!!

But in all seriousness, I would be remiss if I didn't share with you my strong testimony of the Savior, Jesus Christ, on this, the celebrated day of his birth. Let each of us remember the reason for this most extraordinary of holidays. Share the spirit of the Savior with your loved ones, and His message of peace, joy and love with all of those who have special meaning in your lives.

Merry Christmas!!!

Thursday, December 21, 2006

Donald Trump SLAMS, Absolutely Slams, Rosie

Man, this is one of the harshest rebukings I've ever seen. Donald Trump goes straight for Rosie's jugular on this one, and doesn't hold anything back. He calls her "Ugly, both inside and out!" Then tells her that he'll have someone take her girlfriend away because, "it would be easy." But his quote of the day has to be, "I'm worth billions of dollars, and I have to listen to this fat slob?" Holy ouch Batman! See for yourself.

Read it and see the full video HERE.

Or, see clips below:


I'm telling you, this is brutal. I can't stand Rosie O'Donnell, and I hope that her TV show, "The View," fails miserably. I really do! But Donald's comments are just harsh. He's going to end up driving people into her corner over this. Watch.

MORE.

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Blogstreaking?


This is a new term to me, although it's not as salacious as I had imagined it to be. Do they have a name for those of us who constantly like to update their blogs for other people (we don't know) to see? How about Blogarcissism? Yep, I just made that up. It's ™ now.

Here's the rest of the names as Yahoo News sees them:

  • EGO-SURFING: When you frequently check your name and reputation on the Internet.
  • BLOG STREAKING: "Revealing secrets or personal information online which for everybody's sake would be best kept private."
  • CRACKBERRY: "The curse of the modern executive: not being able to stop checking your BlackBerry, even at your grandmother's funeral." (A BlackBerry is a popular handheld device that can be used for phoning, emailing and web-browsing).
  • GOOGLE-STALKING: Defined as "snooping online on old friends, colleagues or first dates."
  • CYBERCHONDRIA: "A headache and a particular rash at the same time? Extensive online research tells you it must be cancer."
  • PHOTOLURKING: Flicking through a photo album of someone you've never met.
  • WIKIPEDIHOLISM: Excess devotion to contributing to the online collaborative encyclopaedia, Wikipedia. (Wikipedia even has a page where you can test whether you're an addict).
  • CHEESEPODDING: Downloading of a song "so cheesy that you could cover it in plastic wrap and sell it at the deli counter." Cheesepodders are especially vulnerable to soft-rock favourites from the 1970s.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Creator of "Airplane" Strikes Again With New Ad

Zucker takes on the Iraq Study Group. Since the ISG turned out to be a total joke, I can't think of a better outlet for such comedic rage. Enjoy the video below, courtesy YouTube.

Marion Barry Arrested. Again.

The crack-smoking former mayor of Washington, DC was arrested this weekend for driving on a suspended license. He claims it was a "clerical error," and now wants monetary damages for being "inconvenienced" by the Park Police who arrested him. Sure, Barry, we'll recompense you after you pay the city back for the trial that sent you to prison, inconveniencing a major American city (the nation's capital, by the way) and all of its citizens for smoking crack while you were on the job.

Barry said the incident took several hours to work out and he was humiliated and severely inconvenienced. He said he wasn't able to drive all weekend due to a mistake by the D.C. government.
Waaaaaah! Please. Clerical error or no, when you're driving on a suspended license, you get busted. That's the law - something Barry obviously has zero respect for. Fix it and move on. Life is full of inconveniences... Like having to explain to family members why my former mayor was a crackhead, got busted, did time and then got reelected to the City Council.

Monday, December 18, 2006

With a Week to Go and 75 Degree Weather, How Will Santa Get Here?

That's right, 75 baby. I grew up in San Diego, so I'm used to this kind of weather during the Christmas season. But, in California, Santa is able to deliver presents on a surfboard. Every kid knows that. So, sans snow, what will be Santa's mode of transportation in the 75 degree nation's capital? Any suggestions will be forwarded to the Big Man himself.

UPDATE: Temperature record broken!

Saturday, December 16, 2006

Fun for Saturday

A pledge pin?? On your uniform?!!!!! Man, Neidermeyer was the best.

Friday, December 15, 2006

Did You Know There is a 4th Credit Bureau?

I'm not kidding. Apparently, this bureau (technically they are agencies and shouldn't be called bureaus) is more secretive than the CIA. It's called Innovis and they compile your credit reports right along with Experian, Equifax and TransUnion. Only, Innovis doesn't have to comply with the FCRA laws in the same way the other "big 3" credit agencies do.

Recently, I have been going to great lengths trying to get a few negative items removed from my credit report. When I say great lengths, I mean great lengths, too. Getting something removed from your credit file is no easy task. It requires a lot of waiting and everything to be done in writing (for the most part).

For example, years ago I moved out of a house with 2 roommates and the Comcast cable bill was never switched out of my name - despite my seemingly successful attempt to do so. The result was a $300 bill that went unnoticed (and wasn't forwarded to my new address), that eventually made it's way into collections and onto my credit report. Only recently did I even discover it was there. So, I have been calling each of the 3 credit reporting agencies to get information on the item so that I can start the dispute process. That means I have to send a letter to all three agencies, wait for them to respond and then send them any supporting evidence I may have. Then they contact the creditor to verify the information. As per the FCRA, the creditor has 30 days in which to verify the credit item or by law, it must be removed from my credit file.

Lucky for me, all 3 credit agencies deleted the Comcast file from my report. However, during my extensive web searches about how the process works, I slowly became aware of another presence. Kind of like the way Neo knew something wasn't right about the world in The Matrix by discerning subtle clues, I was able to assume the presence of another, 4th credit reporting agency. The signs were there, but no one talked about it. It seemed that out of every 100 references I read where only 3 agencies were named, one reference would mention a 4th. Then, this article finally put a name to that 4th agency, Innovis.

Apparently, Innovis maintains your credit file in much the same way as the "Big 3," agencies. Only, Innovis doesn't provide your report to credit card companies or lending institutions for the purpose of approving your credit worthiness. They have a more sinister function. Innovis acts as a sort of final clearinghouse for consumer credit information. They deal in bulk. For example, credit card companies routinely send out "pre-approval" notices and other credit-related product offers. Innovis acts as their mass mailing failsafe. In fact, Innovis has a product called FailSafe that can weed out "undesirables" that credit card companies would have otherwise pre-approved for credit worthiness.

So, even though credit card companies don't use Innovis when you apply for a card, Innovis can still be the deciding factor when it comes to the way you receive offers of credit. Therefore, it's just as important to know what is on your Innovis report as it is for the other Big 3. But since Innovis isn't one of the primary sources for credit reporting, it is somewhat exempt from FCRA statutes. This means you have to dig a little deeper into the rabbit hole to see how far it goes.

If any of you are interested in contacting Innovis to get a copy of your report from them, here is their contact information:

Innovis Consumer Assistance
P.O. Box 1358
Columbus, OH 43216-1358
1-800-540-2505

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Coming in 2030: All Day Rush Hour!

A nightmare in the making. New York City in 25 years will resemble the Tokyo subway system. Too many people and no room! According to a recent study, Manhattan is expected to grow by 1.1 million people in the next 25 years, which will put an unprecedented strain on the city's infrastructure. They are already predicting that NYC's energy demand will exceed output by 2012. Better be prepared for rolling blackouts and brownouts.

And before you laugh at our northern neighbors, remember that DC is not far behind on this nightmarish timeline.

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

World Tyrants and the Clothes They Wear (or Don't Wear)

What a fascinating tour of the despotic rich and famous, thanks to Radar Online. Some of these pictures are great. Some are naked. All are fun!

Bwahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Kucinich is gonna run for President?!!!

Haha ha ha HA haha ha MUTANT ha ha ha hah hahaha hahaha ahHAHha ahaha HHAHAHAHA WORM ahahah ahha haha ha ah aha ha aha aahahahaha ahhHAHAHAHAHAH aha Haha ha ha HA haha ha ha ha ha hah hahaha hahaha ahHAHha ahaha HHAHAHAHA ahahah ahha haha TOAD ha ah aha ha aha aahahahaha ahhHAHAHAHAHAH aha Haha ha ha HA haha FREAK ha ha ha ha hah hahaha hahaha ahHAHha ahaha HHAHAHAHA ahahah ahha haha ha ah aha ha IDIOT aha aahahahaha ahhHAHAHAHAHAH aha Haha ha ha HA haha ha ha ha ha hah hahaha WEASEL hahaha ahHAHha ahaha HHAHAHAHA ahahah ahha haha ha ah aha ha aha aahahahaha ahhHAHAHAHAHAH MORON aha Haha ha ha HA haha ha ha ha ha hah hahaha hahaha ahHAHha ahaha HHAHAHAHA ahahah ahha haha ha ah aha ha aha aahahahaha ahhHAHAHAHAHAH aha Haha ha ha HA haha ha ha ha ha hah hahaha hahaha ahHAHha ahaha HHAHAHAHA ahahah ahha haha ha ah aha ha aha aahahahaha ahhHAHAHAHAHAH aha haha!!!!!

Monday, December 11, 2006

Love Me: It's My Birthday!

Yes, I know this is the ultimate ego post! But hey, I like my birthday and I'm proud to be the age that I am (it's over 30). Besides, I may get a few cool comments on here as a result of this shameless self-promotion.

What am I doing today? Not much. Well, I mean, I'm working... so what can I really do to celebrate? Tonight my wife is taking me to dinner - after making me an awesome feast on Saturday night that I was able to share with 40 of my closest friends! Thanks for that, babe... it was extremely fun!

I'll try not to make this post a total trip down Self-Indulgent Lane... Here's some December 11th facts that all of you can enjoy. And let me tell you, 12/11 is a hap-hap-happenin' date in world history.

December 11 birthdays of famous people:
John Kerry (this fact has now ruined my birthday, forever).
John Mark Karr (why this guy qualifies as famous is beyond me).

December 11 in history:
Upper Volta became an autonomous republic in the French Community!
It's Tango Day in Argentina
I think I'll celebrate Tango Day by sending John Kerry an e-card with a picture of John Mark Karr. Or something...

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Verizon's Bad Math

I recently came across this poor guy's blog about an argument he had with Verizon over the difference between .002 cents and .002 dollars. It's pretty funny. You can listen to the audio of his call here.

It just blows me away that this guy spent a total of an hour on the phone, speaking to 5 reps, none of whom were able to comprehend that if his plan says he should be charged .002 cents per kb, his total bill should be 71 cents, not $71. Looks like Verizon has a HUGE problem on their hands for people who roam to Canada.

Friday, December 08, 2006

A Peace Bombing... At a Mall

Since Islam is a "religion of peace," I don't know what else to call this terrorist plot. According to an FBI affidavit, Derrick Shareef wanted to commit "violent acts of jihad" and "disrupt Christmas." He also said (and you won't find this on CNN), "I swear by Allah man, I’m down for it too, I’m down for the cause, I’m down to live for the cause and die for the cause, man." He also talks about stabbing Jews and uses a number of racial slurs that I won't bother repeating because you get the point.

The MSM (mainstream media) will play this story as some nutjob acting alone. Now, while I don't dispute that, the fact that he's using Islam as his justification is just as newsworthy. And that particular piece of information is also what will be underreported. We need to be sensitive. Spare me. It's a motive, and motives are important. Never mind the fact that his motive and desires to kill the infidels are shared by hundreds of millions of people across the globe.

UPDATE: According to LGF, Derrick, AKA Talib Abu Salam, made a martyrdom video. Text:

This may be my last will and testament, the last words I have spoken to those who know me, to those who do not know me. My name is Talib Abu Salam Ibn Shareef. I am 22 years of age. I am from America and this tape is to let you guys know, who disbelieve in Allah, to let the enemies of Islam know, and to let the Muslims alike know that the time for jihad is now....Be strong, oh Mujahaideen. Be strong oh brothers who want to fight for jihad...This is a warning to those who disbelieve, that we are here for you, and I am ready to give my life.

Yep. I Was "That" Guy On the Metro

It was only a matter of time before my comments about obnoxious and offensive Metro riders would come back to haunt me. Granted, I haven't developed escalaphobia, nor did I break out in song. But I did contribute to metrogerms. Despite that, however, I can honestly say, I tried everything in my power to limit my offensiveness.

Those of you who read this blog daily know that last week I had a really bad cold. So, being a good citizen, I stayed away from the Metro while I was contagious, and thus was home from work for a better part of the week. I don't like showing up to work or riding the Metro all sniffly and gross. However, despite my recovery, my body hasn't been able to shake a very persistent and annoying cough. You all know what I'm talking about. It's one of those tickling, dry coughs that seems to last for weeks after recovery from the initial cold. And every once in a while, as you are suffering from this postnasal drip-like cough, you go into an uncontrollable coughing fit.

Until this morning, such fits have been limited to the privacy of my office and home - where only my coworkers and wife have to be grossed out. Fine, I can deal with that. But today, despite all of my fears and precautions (plenty of cough syrup and medicine), I entered into what can only be described as a disgusting coughing fit just a few minutes after sitting down and becoming boxed in on the Metro.

If you're one of the people asking yourself, "So what?", then you obviously haven't ridden the Metro here in DC. There are certain rules that must be followed. One of those rules is the code of absolute silence. Heaven forbid your phone should ring, or that you should have someone sitting next to you worthy of conversation. You open your mouth, you're gonna get evil eyes and cold shoulders. It's a well known fact that during rush hour, only weirdos and obnoxious tourists are the ones jabbering on the Metro. So given that setting, you can imagine how annoying it must be to hear someone cough not once, but about 30 times in a row.

I tried my hardest, I really did! The tickling in my throat just became too intense to ignore, and I let out a cough. But as most of you know, that only sets off a chain reaction when your throat feels this way. It becomes drier, which requires more coughing. I just couldn't stop! I was coughing loudly, violently, obnoxiously and disgustingly.

Props go to my fellow riders, though, who didn't seem to bat an eye. Although I did notice the guy sitting next to me quietly edge further away from me. And I could have sworn the lady in front of me started shaking her head in disgust. It was a miserable situation for everyone involved.

So thus, today, I was "that" guy. I was annoying, I was offensive, and I was gross. But did that soften my heart towards others who will undoubtedly offend me in the future with their own nasty behavior on the train? Absolutely not! After all, Metro Opens Doors - not hearts!

Thursday, December 07, 2006

The Weakest Generation

On this day in 1941, thousands of Americans died in a surprise attack on our country. In response, our nation, which up until that day had been neutral and stayed out of the worldwide conflict, stood up in the face of danger and banded together to fight an enemy determined to seize worldwide freedom. We gathered courage from every corner of society and turned it into a force that was unstoppable. It took 4 long and bloody years, but we eventually won the freedom for those unable to fight for themselves (namely, Europe), and then quietly returned to our own hemisphere and enjoyed a boom of prosperity unrivaled in human history.

65 years later, as an almost anti-memorial to those who perished in the name of freedom, we have decided to tuck our tails and run from a similar challenge and threat to world peace and stability. Where before we lost hundreds of thousands of lives and destroyed entire cities to bring peace to the world, we now run in the face of criticism when we have lost only a fraction of the lives required for such operations in the past. Today, we have taken every effort to avoid civilian populations so that life could go on as usual in the middle of a war zone, but still the cause is deemed unworthy by a loathsome and biased press.

Today, 65 years after an event that gave rise to the "Greatest Generation," we are too forgetful and self-absorbed to even care about how events in the world have been unfolding over the past several decades that will ultimately bring more destruction on our own citizens. It has only been 5 years since 9/11, an attack more devastating than Pearl Harbor, yet we can't get off our couches to support a cause in Iraq that will ultimately bring us safety here at home. Instead, we'd rather blame the President, point fingers and vote for people who will continue to feed our sense of laziness.

We have become the Weakest Generation in 65 short years. We would rather ferment selfishness, idolatry, rebellion and irresponsibility than promote a life of morality, helpfulness and conviction. Today is the "me" generation, only concerned with what the government can give them, rather than what they can give to their government. Our politicians are a mirror of a society headed downhill. We're not quite the walking dead that Europe has become, but we're begging to ride on their coattails.

All is not completely lost, however. There are still those people who understand the need to win in Iraq. There are those who understand what is at stake, and understand the reality of the enemy and what he stands for. Even though the quitters have buried many people's heads in the sand along with their own, telling us that just "accepting" the enemy will solve the world's problems - or worse, that we are the enemy - there are still enough people who believe in the spirit of America to keep it alive.

It is my sincere hope, on this 65th anniversary of the birth of the Greatest Generation, that the current weakest generation will grow up, and become the saving generation. Because before we can save the planet, save the whales or save anything else that keeps people's minds of the real problems in the world, we need to save each other. And we can accomplish this by supporting freedom, and overpowering an enemy who is determined to kill us at any cost.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Monday, December 04, 2006

Buying Our Tree

Israeli Capitulation or Sinister Plot?

Either this is the most imbecilic capitulation in the history of modern warfare, or the Israeli's have simply lost their minds. One can always hope that this is nothing but a political stunt. I mean, why else would the Environment Minister be suggesting this??

Since I would like to give Israeli strategists the benefit of the doubt, I have conceived an alternate theory as to why the Environment Minister would want to let this 5-life sentenced suicide bomber back into the population. The Minister, Gideon Ezra, worked as an executive at Ituran, an Israel company specializing in wireless tracking. Perhaps he has something up his sleeve... at least, let's hope he does.
JERUSALEM (AFP) - An Israeli minister has said he would agree to releasing Marwan Barghuti, the charismatic Palestinian militant leader serving five life sentences in jail for planning suicide attacks.

"I will agree to such a release if it leads thePalestinian Authority to be truly opposed to terrorism and to prevent the smuggling of weapons from Egypt into Gaza," Environment Minister Gideon Ezra told public radio Monday.

It is the first time that a current government minister has considered releasing Barghuti,Fatah's widely popularWest Bank leader who was a key player during the early days of the second intifada, or uprising, which began in September 2000. More...

Friday, December 01, 2006

Lindsay Lohan is STILL an Idiot

Sure, it was your Blackberry. Sorry, lush, we're not buying it. Those of us with Blackberries know that they cause typos, not grammatical errors. There's a big difference.

We know you carry the thing everywhere (see picture), but it doesn't mean that we'll be buying your ridiculous excuse. Ugh.